Hughesy’s most brutal Logies jokes
DAVE Hughes had a brilliant joke about Gold Logie winner Grant Denyer that he forgot to say during his opening monologue at the Logies.
Speaking to news.com.au backstage last night, the comedian revealed that he realised as soon as he stepped off stage that he'd let the Family Feud host off the hook.
"I f**king forgot to talk about Grant Denyer," Hughes said.
"I'd pumped up all the nominees [for Gold] and I sat back down at the table and looked and Grant and went, 'oh s**t, I forgot you!'"
So what was the joke about Denyer, who is set to host Game of Games later in the year after his show Family Feud was officially dropped?
"It was like, 'your quiz show's been axed but you got another one at Channel 10. For you it's just like rally cars. You drive one into the tree, you crawl out of the wreck and get into another one'," Hughes said.
"That was the joke. I f**king forgot it. I'm annoyed."
Hughes kicked off his hilarious opening monologue by taking aim at Channel 7 who sent just a handful of stars to the Logies.
"They said it was too expensive," Hughes said on stage.
"Too expensive to get to the Gold Coast? I used to bloody holiday here when I was on the dole. Too expensive? It's because they gave all their money to Barnaby Joyce's baby. He gets $150,000 for his private education but Sam Armytage can't come to the Logies."
Hughesy then moved onto the Married At First Sight contestants, some of whom were in the room at the Logies.
"The amount of outrage about Davina cheating on her husband? They weren't married!" he joked.
"The moral outrage should have gone to the bloody experts who put them together. They are not having a good run," Hughesy said as the camera panned to the experts.
"Guys, I wouldn't trust you guys to pair my socks," he said to them.
For the first time, the Logies were held on the Gold Coast, just months after the city hosted the Commonwealth Games.
"The international athletes loved it," Hughes said about the event. "Some of the them loved it so much they are still here. They will be driving your ubers home tonight. So be careful Stefanovics!"
Sticking with Ubergate, Hughesy joked about the Stefanovic brothers being busted complaining about their co-workers.
"Imagine Karl and his brother in bunk beds at home as kids talking smack about mum. She's outside the bedroom door saying, 'I can hear you dickheads!'"
Given the media coverage that Ubergate received, Hughes joked that "Lisa Wilkinson is probably glad she left" Channel 9.
"You left for pay parity," he said to the now Project co-host. "You weren't getting that were you? No. You aren't getting at The Project either. You are earning double!"
And lastly it was Foxtel personality Andrew Winter who copped it from Hughesy.
"The final nominee for gold, Andrew Winter. Where is Andrew Winter? There he is. Great to put a face to the name," he said, poking fun at the fact the Selling Houses Australia host isn't as well known as the other nominees.
There was a slightly awkward moment during Hughes' monologue when he brought up Tracy Grimshaw's A Current Affair interview with former TV personality, Don Burke.
"That was amazing," the comedian said.
"We had a lot of revelations from that. We got the revelation that Don apparently has Aspergers. No-one knew about that, including his doctor. No, I love Don Burke. I love Don."
Realising what he'd just said, Hughes quickly back-pedalled.
"I don't love everything about him. Alright? Now I've taken myself to weird zone. Sorry."
Hughes explained to news.com.au backstage that he could not believe what he'd said.
"As I was saying I loved Don Burke for about the fourth time, I thought 'Why am I saying I love Don Burke? That's not going to read well. That's not going to play well. That's not the case.' People remember when you lose your mind and I lost my mind," Hughes said.