EXCREMENT happens, as the saying goes.
But when interstate crane operator Darren Lowe wrote himself off after the tent fights at Kilkivan on November 6, he wrote off somebody else's car as well, smeared excrement inside it and found himself in extremely deep doo-doo.
Gympie Magistrate's Court was told waste left behind after Lowe's bad night out showed how wasted he was.
"You must be beyond embarrassment," Magistrate M Baldwin said, "because it's so gross."
The episode will cost Lowe, 40, more than $30,000 in a fine and restitution, including for the car, which was written off by the owner's insurance company.
Lowe, a tower crane operator from the Sydney suburb of Bradbury, had travelled to Gympie region especially to see the famous tent fight institution which was in action at Kilkivan that night.
The court was told Lowe was up to his neck when the proverbial hit the fan, soon after he broke into a house, stole a handbag and was found by police, drunk in charge of a very smelly vehicle.
Magistrate Baldwin told Lowe his case presented serious problems in sentencing, because of its unusual circumstances.
"It's tricky for us because there are not too many like it and not much to hang our hat on," she said.
"There are a lot of precedents for what you did, but when we drill down into the circumstances it's more difficult."
She said opening a person's house while they are in it with two children and removing something from the home was a serious offence.
"The circumstances are terrible. You enter a car and defecate everywhere," she observed.
The court was told Lowe had no memory of the events and needed help with his alcoholism.
"He is living interstate and was only in Queensland for a holiday," the court was told.
Lowe's solicitor told the court he was attending an organised tent boxing event.
"He remembers drinking excessively and doesn't remember anything after that."
He was found by police in the vehicle while under the influence of liquor.
"I note you have a problem with alcohol and sometimes with drugs, but the purpose of the courts is not to iron out the inequalities of life, although circumstances do get taken into account."
Noting his highly developed work ethic she said he needed to have "no alcohol."
"The first sip of any alcohol drink puts you at risk of repeating this. Alcohol is no excuse," she said.
But she noted "any jail term or parole would see you remain here for probably a year, which would not be in anyone's interests."
She sentenced him to nine months jail, suspended for two years.
"For the next two years, every time you think about having a drink, also think, 'Do I want to go to jail?"
She ordered Lowe to pay $25,400 restitution for the vehicle, which was damaged by excrement rubbed into its upholstery, plus $3800 for other damage.
She also fined him $990 and disqualified him from driving for 9 months.