HOLIDAY: Bruce Devereaux in the Maldives, definitely NOT wearing his thongs.
HOLIDAY: Bruce Devereaux in the Maldives, definitely NOT wearing his thongs. Contributed

Pluggers not the ideal for holiday flight attire

AS YOU'D know if you've taken the time to check me out proper-like I am totally a slave to fashion.

Those wonderful tees of mine don't buy themselves, you know.

As such I rather enjoy wearing a thong or two around the bus. Mainly two, if I'm honest.

I only discovered the joy of thongs about ten years ago. My feet were constantly sore and I had fortnightly physio to try help them. Barefoot wasn't an option. Turns out my pain must have been because I was sitting on my work stool wrong because it's totally gone now I've been out of the bank for two years.

My love of thongs, however, has remained as strong as ever despite no longer being able to defend my reasoning to wear them to Tracey by citing medical necessity. It's the no socks thing I really love about them: one less to-do before leaving the house.

But as footwear for flying I must say I'm rather disappointed - and more than a little disgusted - in how thongs stack up. It is with the greatest of regrets I have to advise you thongs have proven to be less than ideal.

Unfortunatly, my wife has had to stay behind because it's still a little close to her operation to justify the risk of something going wrong. She wants to stay within cooee of her favourite surgeon for another month still.

And before you go feeling too sorry for Tracey because she couldn't be here, I rather suspect she might appreciate a week off, if you know what I mean.

Plus she won't be tripping on my thongs in the bus hallway all the time. That'll make up for it a bit I'm sure.

To get here we took two plane trips - Gold Coast Airport to Singapore, then Singapore to Maldives. And a half-hour jet boat dash across choppy waters.

In all, about 20 hours from locking one door and opening the next.

I dressed appropriately in my "I need my space” tee, jeans and old thongs - because you don't want to wear in a new pair doing something like this or you risk blisters. Old thongs are like t-shirts for feet.

Best of all they're easy to kick off so you can stretch your toes. Something I try to do on flights because I find cramping to be distracting from my vital "keep a look out the window for other planes the pilot might have missed” in-flight role.

But this ease of removing the thong from my person is the very problem with them on long, exhausting flights. You forget you've taken them off.

And because I forgot I'd taken them off I forgot to put them back on when I went to the loo, didn't I. And while I kept telling myself that was water from the sink I stepped in, I have my doubts. I know you want to ewwww about now, but hold back enough for what's coming.

So what's the wrap on thongs on flights? Up to you but as nice as having bare feet is for a seven/eight hour flight I'm tossing up if I'll take the risk again.

Like most decent Aussie blokes I'm still a huge thong fan. And anyway, I have to bear in mind the alternative could be worse.

You see, the lady after me had clearly kicked her shoes off and was only wearing socks when she pushed past me and went in to the loo.

Okay, now you can use up the rest of your ewww.

Gympie Times


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