A mum has asked for help after her ex’s new girlfriend started posting photos of her daughter sleeping and gushings about loving her.
A mum has asked for help after her ex’s new girlfriend started posting photos of her daughter sleeping and gushings about loving her.

Mum baffled by ex’s girlfriend’s photo

If you ask any separated parent about the most difficult aspects of co-parenting with an ex, most of them will have a story or two about when their former partner started dating again.

A new partner can certainly bring some new dynamics into the mix. Some can be like an extended part of the family, adding a rich new layer of love and maybe even friendship for the child. Others come with baggage of their own, or cause drama for the parents who are already struggling to find their new place in the child's life. And as an ex, you have zero control over what happens when your child is with your ex.

One woman has posted to Mumsnet about her ex's new partner, who she believes has crossed a line, but she's not sure what to do about it.

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She’s not sure how to broach the topic. Picture: istock
She’s not sure how to broach the topic. Picture: istock

SHARING PICTURES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

The woman has a six-year-old daughter who goes to her dad's place every second weekend. The pair are still friends, get along well and have both moved on with other people.

"I have ex and his gf on Facebook," the woman wrote in her post. "She posted pics of my DD (darling daughter) before. Her with her father or the three of them. I didn't mind really."

"Then about a week ago she started posting on her account pics of my DD sleeping with captions like 'The love of my life … The person I love the most in the world …'"

The mum also added that the girlfriend's profile picture is also of her daughter and she has also been posting photos of her as a baby, or photos of the little girl alone, not with her father, or as the three of them as a group.

She said she hasn't said anything about it yet, but wanted to hear other people's opinions first, to make sure she's not overreacting. Responses were somewhat mixed.

Some suggested her ex’s new girlfriend was living vicariously through the child. Picture: istock
Some suggested her ex’s new girlfriend was living vicariously through the child. Picture: istock

MAYBE SHE WANTS A BABY

Some said it was definitely weird but then speculated there may be other reasons behind such posts on social media.

"That is bloody weird to be honest, it's like she's playing at being 'Mummy'. Your DD already has a mum, you!"

One said, "She's seen her, what, a dozen or so weekends if he has EOW (end of week) contact? Yeah, she's ridiculous."

Another added, "Bet you a tenner she's after proving her mummy credentials so ex will agree to have a kid with her."

Others reminded the mum that sometimes picking your battles helps you win the war.

She even posts photos of her sleeping. Picture: istock
She even posts photos of her sleeping. Picture: istock

PICK YOUR BATTLES

"I think you need to pick your battles," wrote one. "Your ex is with someone who cherishes your daughter and is proud to be in her life - who is being harmed by this? … I think she sounds like a great person to look after your daughter when you aren't present."

"I don't think her behaviour is creepy," added another. "She clearly loves your DD and aren't you lucky she's not some monster and is embracing this family set up? However, I'm not sure I'd want photos of my DD as someone's profile photo - even as my own!"

A few people agreed that having someone else's child as your profile picture is crossing the line, but it wouldn't be an easy topic to broach without risking offending someone who clearly adores your child.

"What would you prefer - your ex's girlfriend loving your DD (even if it makes you feel a bit threatened), or your ex having a partner who dislikes and resents your daughter and encourages ex to spend less time with his child?" asked one person, and really … it's a fine line to navigate, but we salute anyone who has to share their child.

Sharing is never an easy task, but watching someone else love your child in similar ways to yourself would be both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced here with permission

Originally published as Mum baffled by ex's girlfriend's photo



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