Man on drunken rampage ‘nearly drowns’ in stolen kayak
"I'm Chad f------ Wallace, the next millionaire," a drunken man kept shouting in his arrest for paddling a stolen kayak across the canal
After sinking a bottle of bourbon too quickly, Chad Thomas Wallace went on a drunken rampage in Maroochydore.
Police prosecutor Stephen Potter told Maroochydore Magistrates Court police were called after receiving reports Wallace had taken a kayak and was paddling it across a canal on August 30.
Sergeant Potter said Wallace then left the kayak at the bottom of the canal and let it float away.
The court heard Wallace then trespassed on a Maroochydore address and disturbed the homeowner.
"The defendant then began removing solar lights stored in the yard," Sgt Potter said.
"After removing the lights, the defendant threw them in the canal which damaged them."
The court heard when police caught up to Wallace, he was shirtless and wearing wet jeans and lying in the bushes.
"Police attempted to assist the defendant to his feet," Sgt Potter said.
"The defendant refused to get off the ground, forcing officers to physically lift him up a steep slope.
"Once on the street and walking towards the police vehicle, the defendant began shouting that he was 'Chad f------ Wallace, the next millionaire,' and that he was like Mark Zuckerberg."
The court heard Wallace was told to quieten down by police but he continued to shout the same phrase.
Sgt Potter said Wallace also struggled with police when they tried to put him into the police car.
Wallace pleaded guilty on Monday to seven charges, including public nuisance, obstructing police and trespassing.
Self represented, Wallace told the court he would like to apologise for his actions.
"I drank a bottle of bourbon way too fast and got excited," he said.
"I left the party and I didn't know where I was going.
"And then I don't really remember too much, I know I nearly drowned out there.
"I fell off that kayak quite a few times."
Magistrate Haydn Stjernqvist fined him $1000.
No convictions were recorded.