DON'T YOU DARE: Bird lovers are having a tough time lately as their feathered friends turn on them during nesting season. For example this clearly malevolent plover was photographed waiting in ambush outside The Gympie Times offices this week for anyone who stepped outside.
DON'T YOU DARE: Bird lovers are having a tough time lately as their feathered friends turn on them during nesting season. For example this clearly malevolent plover was photographed waiting in ambush outside The Gympie Times offices this week for anyone who stepped outside. Arthur Gorrie

Malevolent plover stalks Gympie office

BEHIND THE MULLOCK HEAP

OH, help...

Ex-Gympie woman was at a funeral in Brisbane last week when, to her horror, she heard a voice coming from her Apple watch.

"000 what's your emergency?”

Mortified, she pushed her way through the huge crowd of mourners, as the operator repeatedly and, she thought, unnecessarily loudly, insisted she tell her which service she wanted - ambulance, fire or police.

Still stuck in the crowd, she whispered that if she had called 000, it was certainly by mistake.

"So you do NOT require emergency assistance?” the operator asked three times at high volume.

Finally making it outside, she apologised profusely for the call which she still maintains she didn't make - an apology that wasn't at all graciously received - and returned to her seat thinking she'd lucky if the next funeral wasn't hers.

MOUTHS of babes...

Gympie nana had to laugh this week when her daughter rang her while stuck in traffic in Sydney.

The traffic light ahead turned green, but the car in front didn't move.

Suddenly, from the back seat came the words, "Mate, put your phone down”.

Wise words indeed from her three-year-old daughter who, clearly, hears every word spoken by Mum and Dad while travelling in the car.

ANTI-social media...

Local collector of social media lore tells story of a man who received an email from one particular service provider, asking him to authenticate his account.

Only problem, the email was addressed to "Dear Mary Smith,” which is not, in fact, his name.

After much searching (because he did not have an account) he managed to tell said organisation that his name was not Mary Smith and, whoever she was, she did not have the right to use his email to start an account.

After some convoluted discussion, said organisation agreed to cancel the account request and advised our hero would receive a confirmatory email.

He did.

Only problem with that was it was addressed to "Dear Mary Smith,” and expressed a hope the issue had been resolved.

SMOKING ban...

Well known cigarette smoking councillor about town was asked at a recent gathering of Gympie Region councillors if he would consider supporting a ban on smoking in Mary St.

Said councillor responded that this was hardly necessary, as existing laws prohibit smoking within 4m of a shop entrance, Mary St being lined with shop entrances, very few of which are 8m or more apart.

"You'd have to smoke in the middle of the road to do it legally in Mary St,” councillor said.

Fellow councillor considered this for a fraction of a second, before responding that this would force a smoker to block the traffic until finished.

"That would make smoking even more hazardous to your health,” fellow councillor observed.

Gympie Times


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