New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Visits Australia
New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Visits Australia

List of people I’d love to see move to New Zealand

THERE'S a lot to like about this wide, brown land of ours but there are quite a few people living here who don't deserve to so I've prepared a list of all those whom I would like to leave as soon as possible, preferably before Australia Day.

NZ Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Picture: Brook Mitchell/Getty Images
NZ Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Picture: Brook Mitchell/Getty Images

Where will they go? I don't particularly care but I imagine most would elect to head for New Zealand, there to be embraced by the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern who would greet their arrival by shedding tears on cue, as is her wont.

Heading the list are the zealots who in embracing the new religion of climate change have become latter day Inquisitors.

Next is anyone who uses the word "sustainable" or its derivatives more than twice in any given day.

Your presence here is not sustainable. Added to the list are those people who promote buying electric cars and the contribution they are making to improving the environment.

According to AVL, the world's largest independent company for testing the technology of powertrains, battery-electric vehicles have to travel at least 128,000km before their emissions break even with those of new petrol cars. This assessment includes factors such as mining for rare earth metals and oil and shipping for both lithium and fossil fuels.

High on the list are local government councillors who draw up neighbourhood plans limiting high-rise development to 10 storeys and then do deals with developers to allow double this.

Joining them are university chancellors who in their pursuit of revenue to justify their own outrageously inflated salaries, allow the enrolment of foreign students with such poor English language skills that they cannot comprehend lectures.

People who cry "racist' every time they don't get what they want should also leave. Much better to blame your skin colour for your spectacular failure to succeed rather than your own disinclination to do anything to improve your lot.

Politicians suggesting traffic be slowed to 30km/h to lower the pedestrian road toll can join them. How about enforcing $2000 fines on people who jaywalk while texting on their phones?

These are same politicians who ignore the inconvenient truth that you are five times more likely to be killed driving on a country road than in a city.

Why? Because the roads are terrible but good roads cost money.

Much better to hide a speed camera in a suburban street and bust people exceeding the speed limit by 5km/h and claim it's there to fight the road toll and not to raise revenue. ABC executives who have succeeded in turning a once proud bastion of responsible, accurate and rigidly unbiased journalism into a shambling, irrelevant platform for misinformation, sloppy reporting and left wing activism.

Women who preach hatred against men, particularly allegedly white privileged males like myself. Ultimately, they are to be pitied for they will never know the love, respect and protection that the vast majority of my fellow Australian men give to their partners.

I've seen most, but not all, of this great nation and harbour a deep affection for the grandeur and diversity of its landscapes, the sense of freedom it engenders and the underlying friendliness of its people.

Enjoy and embrace what it has to offer and leave others in peace to do the same. If you cannot do this, then bundle up your small-minded prejudices and hypocrisies and join the queue to New Zealand.

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