BAD NOTE: A mother complains about another mum’s Facebook posts.
BAD NOTE: A mother complains about another mum’s Facebook posts. Contributed

‘Cruel’ letter to new mum sparks anger

YOU may have seen the terrible letter that went viral this week from one mother, who was sending a letter supposedly on a group of mothers' behalf, to another mum.

The letter was cruel and unfriendly at best and at worst are other adjectives that probably shouldn't be put in print.

The letter attacked the mum about what she put on Facebook. That she dared to post too many pictures and status updates about her child.

It went on to say that they couldn't wait for her to go back to work in the hope she wouldn't have as much time to post to Facebook.

There were so many things that made me really angry about this letter.

Firstly, maybe I am naive in the world of social media, but here I was thinking that a person's private social media account was for them, to post on and talk about whatever the hell they wanted. Because it is their social media, and what they want to put out there into the world.

I never once have considered my social media as something to use for the benefit of other people - to only show the parts of my life that I think other people will be interested in.

It is my life and I enjoy what I enjoy, and if people don't like it, then that is their issue, not mine. They can unfriend me, or hide my posts, that is up to them. And if they can't be mature enough to scroll on and not let it bother them, then I don't particularly care that they are bugged by it.

I was in a position when my first child was born, my husband and I were the first of any of our friends to have children.

It created many challenges for us, and our friends. Everything about our lives and our friendships changed.

But it also meant the centre of my world became a gorgeous little boy. I wasn't working, socialising or sleeping. I was living and breathing a newborn. As such, my social media reflected that.

People who are your friends adapt to this. There is no doubt in my mind that there would have been an eye roll here and there. I am sure there would have been comments muttered about another baby post.

I can live with this, because people that are my friends have never said anything to me about it.

Just the same as I now, having moved past the baby stage, and constant awe and continual milestones, when I see posts from new mums as more and more people I know have babies.

Their posts are constantly about their kids. Sometimes I scroll past when I feel an over saturation and sometimes I smile to myself and remember the time in my life when every day I just couldn't believe how lucky I was.

That is how friends behave.

The exact same way I behave to friends whose passion is paleo, or clean eating, or cats, or motorbikes, or motivational sayings, or exercise - generally I take a quick look because I like to be interested in what interests my friends have. But if I get over too many posts on the same thing I just keep scrolling.

Another thing about this terrible letter that had me really mad, was that being a mum is such hard work. It can be isolating and scary and sometimes really boring. What if this mum was struggling? What if she was having a really hard time and the only thing that was getting her through was being able to post about the few moments in her day that bought her some joy?

To have someone slam that so viciously is so uncaring, unsupportive and a little dangerous.

That is the trouble with social media. It paints a picture perfect portrait of people's lives. But life isn't perfect, far from it. Just because this mum was posting happy pics and statuses of her child, doesn't mean her life is wonderful.

Friends are supposed to be there to support you and lift you up. To make you feel good and be a comfort when you are not.

All I could see when I read this letter was a green-eyed monster, and I hope the mum in question has enough strength and courage to say to hell with them and keeps on posting whatever she likes.



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