Even seen a horse stretching?
THE thing I hate this week about sport is stretching. I have always been a bit lazy when it comes to warm-ups and could never see the sense of twisting my self into a ball before a game.
What's worse nowadays is the comments I get from blokes who think stretching is a good idea.
Mr Elastics, I call them.
One bloke lying on his back with his right knee behind his left ear says to me while I am standing doing nothing before a game:
“Oi, Boofhead, aren't you going to stretch?”
“No mate,” is my reply.
“You'll get injured,” Mr Elastic sneers as he pops his head in his crotch. I go on to tell him my usual story about why I don't stretch and how Australia's greatest sport icon never stretched before a race.
Phar Lap, Australia's best ever race horse, never stretched.
Come to think of it neither do any of his other thoroughbred descendants.
I might be wrong but I have never seen a race horse with a hoof up on the rails stretching out the hammies on Gympie's sand track.
I have never seen a horse lying on his back in the mounting yard stretching out the old gluteus maximus.
Now if anyone was going to stretch you would think it would be a horse, they have more to lose through injury.
It's not very often humans get put down after breaking down.
As usual Mr Elastic walks off laughing, thinking this guy is off the planet.
But science has finally vindicated my decision not to stretch before a game.
A study by a Dr Lally from the University of Hawaii has found stretching before a game doesn't reduce the amount of injuries to sports people.
In fact white male athletes who stretch before matches have more chance of injury than those who don't stretch.
So next time you see a team mate with his head between his legs before a big match tell him the Phar Lap story and if God had wanted to put our heads between our knees he would have given us rubber necks.
DEVILS' win puts them on top of the Sunshine Coast Gympie Rugby League table and a good chance of defending their Premiership title.
DEVILS have a bye this week, slowing their momentum toward the finals series and denying them a chance of scoring more competition points.