Behind the Mullock Heap: Gympie stories to embarrass
The Gympie Hospital's maternity ward will have a busy start to 2017, with 38 babies booked in to enter the world.
This is apparently substantially higher than the usual January rate, and one could wonder what happened in April 2016 to inspire so many conceptions.
Events around the world don't seem quite the type. The Brexit debate was heating up in Britain, and the US was in the early throes of its election saga.
Fortunately that wasn't enough to bring electile dysfunction to Gympie households.
SHOULD'VE GONE TO...
Nash St worker out and about at lunchtime yesterday called her colleagues to say there was an ambulance parked up the road and a paramedic was tending someone in a car.
Colleagues went outside to have a look but couldn't see a QAS vehicle or paramedic anywhere.
What they could see, though, was an RACQ van parked next to a car with an RACQ mechanic busy under its bonnet.
Her colleagues reckon it's time she heeded the message in a well-known TV ad for glasses.
Three generations were enjoying a chat on the back deck the other day when Miss 5 suddenly dragged her grandmother into the lounge.
"Sssshhhh," she whispered dramatically, pulling Nanny deeper into the house and, clearly, further from earshot of her parents.
Intrigued, Nanny obediently said nothing until they came to a stop in a back bedroom where, still whispering, Miss 5 asked, "Is there a McDonald's in Gympie?"
"Yes," Nanny whispered back nervously, well aware of her son and daughter-in-law's stance on fast food, but loathe to lie to the little cherub.
What she wasn't prepared for was almost being knocked over in Miss 5's rush to get back to the deck where she announced loudly, "Nanny says there's a McDonald's here and she's taking me there for lunch".
One witness says he wasn't sure whose look was more horrified - the one son and daughter-in-law threw Nanny's way, the one Nanny directed at Miss 5 or, once she discovered her evil plot had failed, Miss 5's to no-one in particular.
It was lights out for one Gympie mother during the week when she could not help but fall asleep at the kitchen table during dinner.
The young mum who had been dealing with a teething toddler all day slowly drifted off while listening to her husband talk about the Australian cricket team.
It was not until her little daughter cried out that she awoke from her slumber and kept eating like nothing had happened.
Word is her husband now has a pillow on hand at the dinner table should she suddenly need a nap.
Every evening a Gympie woman sets out her coffee maker, filled, juicer for oranges, and crockery ready for breakfast for her elderly spouse and self.
On Wednesday morning she switched on the coffee, juiced the oranges, and as usual, went to rinse the juicer parts before sitting down to her breakfast.
What? No water?
After checking out her tank level, the reset button on the pump, and power outlet for supply, they came to the conclusion that showers, teeth cleaning and washing up are out of the question until they have bought and installed a new pump.
Oh the joys of rural living!
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