Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth editors picks miranda kerr model motherhood mum



WEATHER: A return to regular rain for Gympie

Rainfall across the Gympie Region today.

The return of the wet season across Gympie

How this dad lost 90kgs

FIGHTING FIT: Michael Ditton from Gympie has lost 90kg since making life-altering changes to his diet. INSET: Michael before and after his transformation.

He could barely walk

Local Partners

When should you tell your kids about Santa?

IF THE tooth be told, parents' little falsehoods mostly get washed away with the rain, dear.

COMING SOON: Lock and start your car from your phone

LATEST TECH: Holden owners will be able to access many of their cars functions via a smartphone app.

This is the automotive world's version of Big Brother.

How to lose weight in 20 mins a day

It is possible to lose weight in 20 minutes a day. But you’ll probably need to back away from biscuit tin too. Picture: Geri Farr

It is possible to lose weight with just 20 minutes of exercise a day

Same sex marriage legal by Christmas if yes succeeds

PM Malcolm Turnbull did a Facebook Live with news.com.au. Picture Kym Smith

Turnbull says the issue will be decided by Christmas

OPINION: A fine line in allowing euthanasia

A "proud” Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews says terminally ill Victorians are closer to getting the dignity they deserve.

Guidelines around euthanasia need to be exceptionally tight

Don't take the risk: If it's flooded, forget it

Motorist risks floodwaters at North Arm-Yandina Creek, east of Targoo Road, this week.

Think your car can handle floodwaters? Think again.

Big problem with our big car obsession

More people are surviving crashes if they’re riding large cars, but the same isn’t the case for smaller cars they hit. Picture: Sam Rosewarne

The old days of a two-door low-level ute are over