IT WOULD seem that smartphones are better in bed than menfolk these days.
New research shows we use our phones so obsessively, we can hardly do anything without them. Really.
Apparently 30% of Australians, mostly young women, prefer smartphones to their partners, possibly proving that men are duds and women never shut up.
Nothing new about that, I hear you say.
But it gets worse.
Is your smartphone more interesting than your partner?
This poll ended on 31 January 2015.
What rubbish, smartphones are nothing on real human contact - 72%
Sure, I love my smartphone, but a gadget will never replace my better half - 16%
My smartphone is part of me, partners come and go - 0%
When sex can beat my top score in Candy Crush Saga, then we'll talk - 10%
This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.
No matter how deeply we may be touched by the warmth and passion of another human being, it doesn't seem to mean anything until we've told our mates about it.
Even in the most troubled parts of the world, where people hardly know where their next box of ammunition is coming from, everyone has a smartphone. And nothing means anything without it.
Riots achieve nothing without Youtube.
We have no feelings until we have told far too many people about them on Facebook.
Snapchat, with its self-destructing messages, allows more privacy, with all evidence supposedly erased by the time we grow or sober up.
But overall, are we not in danger of losing something, like our ability to communicate in any real or intimate way with one special person?
Yes folks, we're talking about sex again.
Believe it or not, the same research shows that one in 10 people, again mostly women, admit they have actually used their mobiles while, well, doing IT - which is either a tribute to the female talent for multi-tasking or a sad reflection on the "it" they are doing. It is a concern shared by research sponsor, new telco Yatango.
CEO Andy Taylor says he also worries we are losing something by sharing everything with the world and nothing with each other.
Encouragingly perhaps, privacy is making a comeback, with people increasingly getting off their Facebook.
But texting is still all the rage, even in bed.
Ask anyone to name a three-letter word beginning with S and it seems the answer may well be "SMS."