Opinion

OPINION: Don't let a 3-year-old paint undercoat

There's a subtle difference between milk and undercoat.
There's a subtle difference between milk and undercoat.

THINGS are getting back to normal here in the Devereaux household - normal for us anyway - and I have proof.

"I'm going for a sleep," Tracey told me today.

This wasn't just a notification of intent, it was also an instruction.

What she was actually saying was, 'I'm going for a sleep, so you're not.'

Taking the win, I picked up a paintbrush hoping some physical activity might ward off a bad case of the nanny naps.

Plus, I know Tracey wants it done and I'm keen to impress her at the moment because she's wonderfully alive and still in my life.

"I'm painting!" I called out to the kids. "Who's helping me?"

I was hoping Master 10 or Miss 12, or even Miss 8, would jump at the chance.

Historically, they've always taken every opportunity to put their mark on the walls of my house.

Unfortunately, I only had the one taker.

"I help you, Daddy," Miss 3 told me.

Why not? I thought. She'd already 'helped' by using one of the new paintbrushes I'd purchased at lunchtime to spread orange juice all over the kitchen floor, so she had experience.

Jokes aside, I distinctly remember thinking, 'We'll be outside. It's only undercoat. What harm could it do?"

I. Am. An. Idiot.

We were only ten or so minutes into the job when the inevitable happened - she dropped her brush into the tub.

We were barely two minutes further along when the other inevitable happened - she dropped her brush onto the grass.

I confess I was thrilled.

I'd spent the entire time trying to simultaneously paint and watch over her. This would buy me a couple of minutes while she headed for the sprinkler.

You'll have to wash it now," I told her.

"Okay, Daddy," she said, eagerly running off and leaving me to focus on colouring in a couple more boards. thump thump thump

I dipped my brush into the tub and wiped off the excess paint on the side.

thump thump thump silence

And then the meaning of those thumps hit me.She hadn't stopped at the sprinker. She'd run into the bloody house!

"NOOOO!" I yelled as I dropped my own brush onto the grass and raced up. "Stoooooop!"

I caught up with her just as she was coming out of the bathroom.

"It's clean, Daddy," she grinned, holding up her dripping brush.

My eyes followed the milky drops to the floor - a floor which was looking more and more like the milking shed of a dairy farm.

The drops weren't just here. There was a trail.

There's a subtle difference between milk and undercoat. I know that now.

Milk, for example, doesn't have a glue like quality. It comes off, by way off example, with a gentle if firm interaction with a mop.

Undercoat does not.

Fortunately, however, it comes off with some old fashioned harsh bristles and elbow grease.

A lot of elbow grease.

Nearly an hour of it.

And knee skin.

Just on dusk I was standing in the back yard with Miss3 and my wife admiring our afternoon's work.

Well, I was admiring it.

"How long was I asleep?" Tracey asked.

"About two hours."

Tracey looked at the slats with almost the exact opposite of admiration.

"You didn't get much done."

I really didn't.

One section.

Miss 3, as she was keen to point out to her mother, managed to paint twice as much.

So it's all looking pretty normal here in the House of Devereaux - unfinished jobs and messy, hard to remove stains.

And despite red raw knees, I'm convincing myself I'm absolutely loving the mayhem.

That bit's pretty normal as well.  

To read more of the Devereaux Bunch's exploits, go to bigfamilylittleincom.com

Gympie Times

Topics:  bigfamilylittleincom, bruce devereaux, editors picks




Rurosexual spotting at the Muster

The Muster is a unique and fabulous experience everyone should enjoy

'Would I get a smack if I told the truth?'

Check out the activities to help get kids away from the TV these school holidays.

'A four-year-old doesn't come up with lies like that'

Woolies to shut Masters by year end

Masters Home Improvement - keen to get a foothold in Noosa. Photo Contributed

Hardware stores to shut down

Latest deals and offers

Doco reveals real story behind Black Hawk Down

Former Black Hawk pilot Mike Durant shares his story, which helped to inspire the movie Black Hawk Down, in the TV series No Man Left Behind.

FORMER pilot recounts ordeal which inspired a Hollywood movie.

What's on the big screen this week

Toby Kebbell and Jack Huston in a scene from the movie Ben-Hur.

AN OLD classic returns to the big screen with a new young star.

Bachelor Richie gives bacon-loving Noni the boot

Noni Janur features on this season of The Bachelor.

TOOWOOMBA swimwear designer still single but focusing on her career.

Zumbo's Just Desserts serves up magical dishes

Gigi Falanga, left, joins hosts Adriano Zumbo and Rachel Khoo on the TV series Zumbo's Just Desserts.

ADRIANO Zumbo’s decadent creations have become prime-time viewing.

Sir Cliff Richard feels 'best' after sex abuse allegations

Sir Cliff Richard is 'back' to his best after sex abuse claims

Blac Chyna sued after car injured 2 women

Blac Chyna is being sued after her friend crashed into another car

ISLAND FOR SALE: Cheap Fraser Coast island drops price again

Suna Island in the Great Sandy Strait will be auctioned by Ray White Hervey Bay on Saturday morning.

This is the cheapest island you will find for sale in Australia

How a family home can fit on a 250sq m block

This is what you can build on 250m2.

Here's the floor plan of a home built on 250sq m

$100m plan for Curtis Island 'world class' luxury resort

$100 million resort: Top views at Turtle Street at Curtis Island.

"At the moment we think it meets all the town planning approvals.”

Coast building approvals at seven-year high: report

The the 2015/16 Development Indicators Annual Highlights Report documents local development activity that took place during the last financial year.

New report shows increasing development on the Sunshine Coast

Top honours for Mackay and Whitsunday builders

The Kerrisdale Gardens property from Paynter Dixon Queensland which won them Project of the Year.

Mackay and Whitsunday builders awarded top honours last night.

Investors eye Gladstone's $4m island with resort approval

UP FOR SALE: Turtle Island is on the market.

CHINESE and Sydney investors flag interest in Gladstone island.